Wining

The title doesn’t sound very promising. Is he going to moan again about politics or whatever’s going on in the world, you might be wondering. Fair question. I do catch myself having a bit of a moan about all sorts of things now and then. But just as often, I find myself calling others out on their moaning as well. Is it age? Do you become more of a grumbler as the years go by? I asked AI to weigh in on that. Not necessarily, says ChatGPT. It’s more that you know what you want, which makes you more direct. Another aspect is that you genuinely know better, and your tolerance for nonsense tends to wear thin. Older people like their routines and get tired more quickly of noise or chaos. I must admit, I’m starting to understand my peers a bit better. But before you decide to steer clear of anyone older, ChatGPT does point out the flip side. Older people are often more relaxed. They no longer feel the need to prove themselves, care less about what others think, and are perfectly capable of laughing off small problems.

Older? Perhaps. Past it? Not a chance.
So, my view has become a bit more nuanced. People around me will, from time to time, think I’m a bit of a moaner—just as I can find other people’s complaining rather irritating. The fact that I’m still working very actively means I have the luxury of being surrounded by younger people. That’s great for me, but it should be enjoyable for them as well. We’ve got a number of colleagues in their sixties in our organisation. As far as I’m concerned, they can keep going for as long as they like. It’s an absolute pleasure working with these professionals. They carry real authority in their field, younger colleagues can learn a great deal from them, and at the same time they’re very capable of putting things into perspective. I regularly hear razor-sharp analyses of problem situations that buildings full of civil servants haven’t managed to resolve. That said, it might be worth taking a closer look at what our younger colleagues actually think of us. Is there much point in moaning about the war in Ukraine, the price of petrol, or the weather? On average, there’s very little we can do about any of that. Things certainly won’t change because we complain about them. Indirectly, perhaps moaning can have electoral consequences, so in that sense you might argue it has some influence. But does it make more sense to complain about the service in a restaurant or the temperature of the wine? It might help to think back to the last time you hosted guests at home, and how you’d rate your own performance. When I read online reviews every now and then, I honestly can’t believe what I’m seeing. The language used certainly wasn’t taught in primary school, although people seem to have an impressive range of strong words at their disposal. In their minds, the service was outrageously unfriendly or the price completely absurd. It makes me think these people might simply be unhappy. I’ve been to a great many restaurants in my life and, truth be told, I don’t have any clear recollection of a bad experience.

If we’re so happy, why does everyone look so miserable?
In the World Happiness Report, the Netherlands usually ranks in the top ten when it comes to happiness. I struggle to reconcile that with what I see around me. People walking the streets with serious faces—almost never a cheerful smile in sight. In cars, people often seem to be right up against their stress limits, and it shows in their behaviour. Angry looks, shouting at others, waving hands and fingers about. I like to whistle, and it gets me plenty of positive reactions. People tend to find you more pleasant if you’re strolling along singing or whistling. But even then, there are always a few moaners who take issue with it. Exhausting. What I find particularly hard to accept is that a small group works incredibly hard, while a much larger group complains about their efforts. Perhaps it’s time we started calling each other out on that. I recently received a rather hefty bill for a major service on my car—plenty of reason to feel aggrieved. Until I stopped to think about how many people had worked on that car, the amount of training they’ve had to deliver that level of service, how scarce those skilled people actually are, and how grateful I should be that they’re willing to invest their knowledge, experience and talent in me. So, maybe take it a bit easy on the moaning in the coming period.